Finals and Summer Plans

Hi all!

I’m getting the spring semester wrapped up and prepped for final exams.  I’m feeling pretty confident that I’ll pass this semester (though I’m still not too sure about Spanish…).  The downside?  If I don’t pass my Spanish final with at least a C, I fail the class.  Doesn’t matter what my grades are until this point, I HAVE to pass with a C to pass the course.  Talk about pressure!

If I don’t pass the course, my financial aid is in jeopardy due to my academic completion ratio.  It’s the ration between how many classes I’ve taken in my academic history – a history spanning 20 years – and how many classes I’ve completed.  Back when I first went to college, I was 17 and mentally unbalanced, so I barely completed anything.  Unfortunately, they’re taking my academic fuck-ups and adding it to the stellar performance I had last semester and saying my completion ratio is too low to continue getting financial aid – so I’m facing financial aid suspension because of my performance 20 years ago.  You would think that now that my life is in order, and that I’m performing well, I shouldn’t have a problem.  WRONG!  Sigh.

I’ve already registered for summer semester classes.  I’ll be taking Astronomy to satisfy one of my science requirements, and I’m taking IDS, which is an exit course required for graduation (you need at least 45 credits to take the class).  I’ve been told the Astrology class is super hard, so I’m hoping the fact that it’ll be the only class I’m taking for most of the semester will be helpful, since I’ll only have to focus on work for ONE class at a time.  The IDS class is going to be interesting, the topic is “Body Art As Communication” and is being taught by one of the Anthropology professors.  The Counseling office told me about it and I couldn’t pass it up!  If I have to take IDS to graduate, at least it’s on a topic that interests me, y’know?

I haven’t registered for my fall classes yet, but it’ll be science, humanities, math and… something else that’s escaping my mind at the present.  Sorry, guys.  I’ll probably do that registration today, before I get too far behind.

Oh, and I have to finish my Anthropology ethnographic research study paper today.  I’m not pleased how it turned out, as I only achieved half of my goals.  Hopefully I don’t get a crap grade on the final paper.  Crossing my fingers on that one (cross yours too, I need the extra juju!).

Time to spend this Easter day focusing on writing my paper and registering for classes.  Only two more semesters to go before graduation and transfer to the University (if they’ll have me!).  Trying to keep my chin up in the meantime!

So, what are your plans for the Summer and Fall?  Please, do share!  I’d love to hear it!

Instagram! Thrift Haul and Homework

Hello!  Just thought I’d share some Instagram pics today.

This is a neighborhood stray cat who popped up around here a few weeks ago, surprisingly, about the same time the upstairs neighbors moved out.  She’s taken on the nickname “Meryl”.

The flowers are in bloom on campus!  Took a pretty sweet picture.

Went to the thrift store recently.  Got a few cool items from Anarchist Closet (punk/goth thrift store here in Tampa), which includes a skull shaped bowl, a Dead Milkmen tshirt, and a Hello Kitty halloween tshirt.  I also scored big at Hot Topic, getting a pair of men’s skinny jeans in olive green (just the color I’ve been looking for!) on clearance!  Today (after my dentist appointment) I hit the thrift store again, and got a lace/net/ish shirt, a long black tshirt, and a red plaid shirt for $4.97 each.

Now I’m busy working on my Spanish flash cards and homework, because I have a big and super difficult test on Tuesday – to be joined by my math test on Monday and a speech due on Thursday.  Sheesh!

That’s about it for this week.  Everyone enjoy the rest of your weekend, and I’ll try to update again sometime next week!

More gym time, less depressy time

I’ve had a really bad low period lately.  Lots of things have been going wrong with school, and my bipolar depression is suffering for it.  I have no motivation to do anything, even to get myself out of this funk.  I finally got my ass up and went to the gym for the first time since Spring Break, and it felt pretty good!  I couldn’t keep my eyes off this one woman who was working with the dumbbells – she had such well-developed arms and back, I was pretty jealous.  I wonder if I can ever reach that point?  It seems so far away.  It’s hard to stay motivated when depression rears it’s ugly head.  I don’t want to eat, I don’t want to work out, I don’t want to play games or do homework, I really don’t want to do anything.  It’s tough to deal with.

I went to the dentist this week.  Need about $3800 worth of work done.  Sigh.  First step is deep cleaning, which will take two visits and cost about $400.  *flail*

So yeah, I could really use some good news right now.  If you’ve got some, feel free to leave it in the comments below – I’d love to see it!  Be well.

Trainer!

Met with the trainer at the gym today – his name is Jace.  He’s an air force veteran and was fairly well built.  He recommended a lot of body weight exercises, and pushed me through a few planks and scissor kicks, as well as showed me how to set up speed intervals on the treadmill.  He didn’t touch the weight machines at all, which is kinda good, as I’ve heard good things about body weight exercises and not so good about machines.  He recommended things like planks, push-ups, lunges, squats… he also said if I wanted to I could continue using the 30 minute circuit, as it’ll focus more on upper body workouts.  Jace recommended the body weight exercises 3x/week, and the cardio on the alternating days.  Also recommended watching my diet, as it’ll be a key portion of my weight loss.  I think if I keep this up, and fight through any plateaus, I should be able to reach my goal of 41 lbs lost.

Discouragement and Encouragement

earbuds

Today I was searching ye olde Internet for quick vegetarian breakfast ideas.  I like looking for recipes and things on blogs, rather than on the big recipe sites, because it adds a more personal touch, and you’re more likely to get a decent review of the recipe.

The only bummer is stumbling on those people that I’m really jealous of – the fitness buffs.  Runners, especially.  Lots of posts about all their successes, it gets a little discouraging at times.  I can barely lift 15lbs, and here are people running half marathons!  I wish I could run, I wish I could find running interesting in more than an academic sense.  In all honesty I find running – and by extension, walking – to be incredibly dull.  I wish I could be like them and find some enjoyment in it.  I wonder what kind of person I would be if instead of partaking in other hobbies I’ve had in my younger years, I’d taken up running instead?

I’m more encouraged that I’ve finally started hitting the gym – as much of a gym as I’m a member of – but I think I’ve overdone it rather early on, as my arms (near the inside crease of my elbows) are extremely sore and stiff.  I tried doing some yoga and stretching today to try and loosen things up, and it helped for a little while, but it’s all stiff again.

I get discouraged when I see fit people, and worry that I don’t have the dedication, the drive or the ability to reach my fitness goals.  I get small tastes of encouragement when I do go to the gym, and the time flies by.  I have my concerns though.  I don’t know if I can do what I’m aiming to do – which is to lose 41 lbs.  The goal seems unattainable.  It’s been 21 years since I’ve been that size, and maybe my body is set in it’s ways?  I don’t know.

I know what I want to do.  I’m taking the steps necessary to do them.  In the end, however, I worry if my efforts just aren’t good enough?

Gym time!

I got a gym membership this week at Planet Fitness.  No balking about PF, please, it was in my budget and up the street from where I live.  I’m sure I’ll upgrade to a “real” gym once I get my momentum rolling, but this year, it’ll be PF all the way.  So play nice.

Today was Day 2.  I’ve been spending about an hour to an hour and a half there.  Did some cardio on the treadmill to warm up, and moved over to their 30 minute circuit.  I like the circuit because the weight limits are adjustable, and it’s structured.  I like structure.  While I’ve been working up a sweat, I feel like maybe I’ve been going a little easy on myself.  For now I’ll keep going with this plan, since I’m just starting out.  Baby steps?  Maybe.  But it’s a habit I want to maintain, and I don’t want to burn myself out with unrealistic expectations.

I’ve got an appointment with one of their trainers on Saturday morning, and he’ll go over the machines with me and help me figure out what might work best for me.  I don’t want to puss out, seriously.  I don’t want to be afraid anymore.  I seriously want to achieve something with my weight and strength.  I think this is a good start.

I’ve started posting at Nerd Fitness again, and a little at Spark People (though I don’t like that site so much).  Next step is to clean up my diet.  No more soda or junk food.  That’s right out.  I really want to get this right this time.  I’d like to increase my vegetarian percentage, and come up with some healthy recipes that I can whip up in a jiff.  Goals goals goals!

That’s it for now.  I’ll post more another time, for now, we’re gonna go out and get a big salad for dinner.  Yum!