Sorry folks, this one is going to be a long one.
I love food!
This is kind of a recent realization to me. It never occurred to me until now that this was the case. In the last few years, I’ve become somewhat of a foodie, and I eat out way too much. I consider this the result of living a more prosperous lifestyle than I have in the past. We’re not well-off. We’re only maybe lower middle class. But I’m eating much better than I did years ago.
Four and a half years ago, I left my home state of Connecticut to live in more inexpensive pastures. While I was living in Connecticut, I had no car, so I walked or bussed everywhere I needed to go. Our budget was extremely tight. Early on, it was a “ramen three times a day” budget. Later on, we could afford better than ramen, but not much. Many days I only ate one meal a day. I weighed in at about 165lbs on my 5’7″ frame – about twenty pounds higher than my pre-pregnancy weight, which to me, wasn’t bad at all. I wasn’t terribly unhappy with my weight at the time. I know it wasn’t the healthiest of situations, but it was what it was.
Fast forward to four and a half years ago. I moved and ended up in a better financial situation. Three meals a day! Wow! A year later I moved again, and in with Baron, a self-professed butter addict. There were three meals a day, junk food and dinners out. My weight shot up from 165 to 205 in just over the first year. I was floored.
Now I’m trying to make dietary changes, and having such a hard time with it. Last night I had two and a half bowls of pasta slathered in ricotta cheese. TWO AND A HALF BOWLS! It tasted so good I couldn’t stop. I gave myself a tummyache. Sadface. I know I want to eat better, and eat less, I just can’t get myself away from stuff that tastes just so damned good! I don’t know if this means I have food addiction, or some kind of eating problem or what.
I’m not sure where to go next. I really need some control in what I eat, and to get over my lack of willpower. How do I reign in my out of control appetite?
I hate exercising!
I really, REALLY do. Like I said before, back when I lived in Connecticut, I walked everywhere, and while I had difficulty sometimes (my fibromyalgia sometimes made walking difficult, I’d use a cane when things got too painful), it still got me where I needed to go. Now, here in Florida, the city I live in is too spacious, and nothing I need is really within walking distance. I have a car, and the convenience I think has adversely affected my activity level. I know it has.
I would love to get more exercise into my routine, but I’ve had the damnedest time trying to find something that doesn’t bore me within a week’s time. I can’t afford a gym membership, I don’t own a bike, and home exercise machines are out of my budget. I tried doing some at home exercising – like yoga and pilates videos – but again, I got bored. I was trying to walk every other day – two miles or more – but alas, bored again.
Why can’t I find the right exercise for me? Is there such a thing? Am I supposed to just push through it and do it anyways, no matter how bored or unenjoyable it is? I’m jealous of all the blogs and posts I read about people thrilled about how many miles they’ve done on the treadmill or how many hills they’ve done on the exercise bike. I want to feel that kind of pride in my accomplishments, too.
I guess that’s where I’m stuck at the moment. Too much of one thing (food) and not enough of the other (exercise). I need to figure out how to turn myself around and overcome these obstacles. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Do any of you out there run into the same problems I do? Please share!