January 4, 2012 by Zuri
My mental health condition hasn’t been good as of late. I cry all the time, my mood is very depressed and I can’t seem to get anything done. My psychiatrist has decided to add Lamictal – a bipolar antidepressant – to my medication regimen. I’ve been on the starter dose for a week now, and I’ve found that while my mood is still depressed, I’ve been struck with an overwhelming sense of apathy. I honestly don’t care about anything right now. This includes not caring about being at my computer, playing my new video game, watching tv shows with Baron, or pretty much anything else. Also, I’m not eating. I’ve been going the whole day without eating until maybe 1am, and even then I’m still not hungry.
My psychiatrist is concerned that I might have to go inpatient, as she’s not sure if she can manage my symptoms on an outpatient basis. I thankfully talked her out of it.
I’m not sure if this has anything to do with the new medication or not. I’ve also found that I’m getting kind of sick of all the medication I have to take. I’m really hating it. I know I can’t just stop taking it, and I know how bad a shape I’ll be in if I stop taking everything (seriously, it’ll be a royal mess), but I really don’t want to take everything anymore. At this point, I’m on 5 medications: 3 for mental health issues, 1 for my fibromyalgia and muscle spasms, and 1 for my hypothyroidism. That’s a lot. I’m just sick of it.
Friday I go in to get bloodwork done to check my thyroid hormone levels, and I go back to the doctor to get that checked on the 13th. So far, I don’t really feel any kind of change from the thyroid meds, so we’ll see if that medication needs to be adjusted or not. I go back to my psychiatrist in six weeks, and hopefully it’ll be better news. My new medication gets it’s dosage doubled tomorrow, and I’m worried the apathy will get worse. Guess we’ll see. Wish me luck!