Smells Like Failure

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July 9, 2014 by Zuri

I was going over my upcoming school schedules, and decided to pay the dreaded Financial Aid office a visit.  I’m registered for 2 classes this summer, and 3 for the fall, in an effort to bring my completion ratio up, like they told me to do, so I could get my Financial Aid reinstated.

As I sat with the woman, now familiar, as I’ve seen her at least four times prior, she commented that yes, my completion ratio would be high enough after the fall semester… but my Financial Aid will still be suspended.

I was so confused.  Wasn’t I doing exactly what she had told me to do last time I was there?  Find a way to pay for the classes, take them in the fall, and earn back my Grants and Loans in the spring?  She informed me that past 90 attempted credits, your financial aid is suspended.  After my fall semester, I will be at 91.

*Deep breath*

Now.  I’m disappointed and angry.  Angry that they hadn’t mentioned this before now.  Disappointed that no matter how hard I try to work to meet this goal, something ALWAYS has to jump in the way of my oncoming train to derail EVERYTHING.  Now not only do I have to find ways to pay for my fall semester (9 credits) I need to figure out how to pay for spring as well (7 credits).  I don’t understand why this has to be such a fiasco.  I’m doing everything I’m supposed to be doing – I study hard, I never miss class unless it’s absolutely necessary, I score well on my tests… School is my #1 priority.  But it seems like it’s nothing but a dream, that I should just sit down, shut up, and resign myself to being a failure.

I’ve considered maybe trying to transfer to Uni early, since that’ll reinstate my Financial Aid (the cap I believe jumps to 180cr instead of 90cr.) but I don’t know if they’ll accept me outright without the AA backing me, and with my previous history, and only a few semesters at the CC level under my belt.

I don’t handle stress well.  This is seriously not helping matters.  I don’t know what to do now.  I really don’t.


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This blog exists to document my personal wellness and life journey, focusing on the areas of physical and mental well-being, diet and spiritual health. I'll be sharing my own experiences as well as information from throughout the web.

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